


You Never Know What You're Gonna Get

by buttercreamfrosting



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, Humor, Implied Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Implied Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, M/M, NOT REALLY BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE, Near Death Experiences, Post-Canon, Sleepovers, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 21:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttercreamfrosting/pseuds/buttercreamfrosting
Summary: In which Kei remembers all of the surprises that led up to this incredibly frightening moment.





	You Never Know What You're Gonna Get

**Author's Note:**

> To my dear friend @[scribblekei](http://scribblekei.tumblr.com/), who came up with this scenario <3
> 
> (Please note that this is very experimental. I was trying to play around with *style*)

Forrest Gump was right. Life really is like a box of chocolates.

There have been a lot of unexpected happenings since Kei started college. If he were to travel back to the start of high school and tell his life story, for whatever reason, to his fifteen-year-old self, his fifteen-year-old self would scoff and say that he’s full of shit. Hell, even his eighteen-year-old-and-one-week-before-graduation self would never buy any of it.

Actually, right now, in this moment, Kei isn’t entirely sure that _he_ would believe his own story.

In order to understand Kei’s utter shock and disbelief at the current state of his life, we need to back up to about two months after the start of his first semester of college, when he found out that Bokuto Koutarou lived two floors above him. How it had taken two months for either of them to figure out that they were neighbors is beyond him, especially considering that it’s _Bokuto-san_. The amount of noise that man makes, Kei was astounded that he hadn’t made the connection the first day he moved in. When they ran into each other on the stairs leading up to their apartments on that day, two months after the start of Kei’s first semester, everything clicked and Kei honestly felt quite stupid for taking _two goddamn months_ to realize that the very loud voice that annoyed the hell out of him, yet said some of the most hilarious shit he’s ever heard in his life, belonged to none other than Bokuto Fucking Koutarou.

Even more shocking is the fact that Kei had somehow agreed to let Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san—who does not live with Bokuto-san but might as well because he’s there all the fucking time because they are apparently an _item_ —feed him dinner. Five nights a week.

Now, Kei is not ungrateful by any stretch. Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san are two of the kindest, most generous people he has ever met. (Akaashi-san may not seem like it on the outside, but he has a kind fucking soul, and Kei will never doubt that again after what happened during his first finals week.) Not to mention, Bokuto-san is a fabulous cook. After the first dinner he had with Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san, where it was revealed that Kei had been living on cup noodles and strawberry shortcake, the two of them—actually, mostly Bokuto-san—had insisted that Bokuto-san cook for him every night. After much negotiating, they had decided that five nights a week would be good enough and had even allowed Kei to chip in exactly one-third of the grocery costs.

Kei wanted to pay for more, since Bokuto-san was doing all of the cooking, but Bokuto-san and Akaashi-san firmly declined, since they both eat enough in one sitting to feed a small village. Kei agreed that that was fair.

The next big surprise really shouldn’t have been such a surprise at all, considering his “friend group” at first year training camp. One night, a few weeks into the routine of eating dinner with the Lovely Couple from Upstairs (and Kei says that with much sarcasm), Bokuto-san’s door was opened for Kei by someone who was not Bokuto-san or Akaashi-san. Kei will never admit how hard his heart lurched in his chest and how hot his face felt when he stood face-to-face with an obnoxiously grinning Kuroo Tetsurou in the doorway to Bokuto-san’s apartment. Memories of his stupid little crush—which he did not realize was a crush until Kuroo literally just opened the door to Bokuto-san’s apartment—from his first year of high school burst to the forefront of his brain like the Trojans rushing out of their giant-ass horse.

“Long time no see,” Kuroo had said, the smooth bastard.

Fast forward a year, and Yamaguchi had started dating Yachi (fucking _finally_ , and also Kei got five-thousand yen out of Hinata, who had bet Kei that they would surely be a thing before graduation; boy was he ever wrong), Kei had found a “gaming buddy,” as Kuroo had put it, in Kozume-san, and he was now dating Kuroo.

That last one was something that Kei would never have imagined in his wildest dreams. Or, at least, before they had started hanging out, like, all the time and Kuroo started dropping hints that he claimed were subconscious and that _Kei_ was the one who was doing the dropping of the hints.

Anyway.

He and Kuroo have been dating—officially, that is; Bokuto-san, Akaashi-san, and Yamaguchi claimed they were a thing long before they were a thing; Kozume-san kept his mouth shut, bless him—for a little over a month and were supposed to be having their first sleepover tonight.

Rather, their first _planned_ sleepover. Like, with an overnight bag stuffed with pajamas and a change of clothes for tomorrow and a toothbrush.

There had been a few nights where they had fallen asleep together and then it was suddenly morning. Sawamura-san gave them hell when it happened at his and Kuroo’s apartment, with the looks he kept shooting at them. Kuroo tried, fruitlessly, to tell him that he and Kei didn’t actually do anything. Which was the truth. They’ve only ever made out. Kuroo is a lot shyer about that stuff than Kei would have thought when he first met the guy, and Kei is grateful because he finds sex stuff both hilarious and terrifying.

(Which is all based on porn, by the way. He’s about as virginal as they come.)

Speaking of Sawamura-san, Kuroo had invited Kei to stay over at his place because Sawamura-san was staying over at Sugawara-san’s place, because Sugawara-san’s roommate, Oikawa-san (that still fucks Kei up), was going to be somewhere that Kei never cared enough to pay attention to. This wasn’t the first time Sawamura-san stayed elsewhere for the night; it was just the first time Sawamura-san stayed elsewhere for the night and Kuroo thought to invite Kei to sleep over.

(For the record, Kei lives alone and could have invited Kuroo to stay over at any time, but their relationship is young and Kuroo got to it first, so whatever.)

So, Kei got to Kuroo’s place earlier this afternoon and they watched a movie, played some video games, made out a little, Kuroo cooked him a dinner that was not quite as delicious as something Bokuto-san would have made but still pretty fucking delicious, made out some more—you know, the usual—and then decided that they should wash up properly for once before they fell asleep. Kuroo let Kei have the first bath, since he’s the guest, but when Kei got into the bathroom and turned the water on, it came out ice cold. He waited a few moments to see if the hot water would kick on, but with no such luck. After dressing and telling Kuroo of the situation, they concluded that the water heater probably needed to be repaired and Kuroo would call for maintenance in the morning.

Kuroo suggested that they just go to the public bath down the street and Kei agreed with a “yeah, sure.”

It was on the way there that it dawned on Kei that this would be the first time they had ever seen each other naked. It shouldn’t be a big deal, as they both had bathed with their respective teams quite often back in high school, but, having never shared any of those experiences with each other, Kei had hoped that their first time would be in a more intimate setting. Kei guessed that Kuroo was thinking something similar with how tense he grew as they got closer and closer to the public bath.

Neither of them said anything as they walked into the establishment, paid, and made their way to the locker rooms.

Which brings us to the present moment, where Kei and Kuroo are watching as Sawamura-san and Sugawara-san strip down with their backs to Kei and Kuroo before heading out to the bath.

Sawamura-san, who kept shooting them looks the mornings after their unplanned sleepovers.

Sugawara-san, who told them to _remember to use protection!_ as he and Sawamura-san left the apartment the very first time Kuroo had Kei over. Before they were dating. While Kei was still in denial over the fact that he even had feelings for Kuroo.

Sawamura-san and Sugawara-san, who were once Kei’s reliable senpai, but are now ruthless tyrants, out to mortify any and all human beings, especially those in the budding stages of a relationship.

This notion was perhaps the biggest shocker of Kei’s post-high school career and there is no way that Kei is going to be naked around Kuroo for the first time in front of _those two_. 

Kei looks at Kuroo, who looks back at Kei with wide eyes and Kei knows that they are thinking the exact same thing. Silently, they turn and walk out of the locker room, and then out of the building.

Once outside, Kei lets out a huge breath that he wasn’t aware he was holding and looks at Kuroo again. Kuroo takes a deep breath, visibly relaxing as he does so, and then grins at Kei, who grins back before they both burst into hysterics.

“Tsukki, we just dodged the biggest freakin’ bullet,” Kuroo wheezes.

Kei wipes at his eyes while taking deep, shuddering breaths to calm himself enough to speak. “Let’s just go back to my place and hope my bath actually works. We might as well sleep there, too.”

“I guess,” Kuroo sighs. “So much for our sleepover.”

Kei doesn’t like the hint of dejection in Kuroo’s voice.

“It’s still a sleepover, Kuroo-san,” he says.

“Yeah, but it didn’t go according to plan, and now I just feel like a crappy host.”

Kei snorts and takes Kuroo’s hand in his as they start heading toward the train station.

“Have you ever seen the movie _Forrest Gump_?”

Kei then proceeds to tell Kuroo all about Forrest Gump and his fucking box of chocolates and mentally reminds himself that never knowing what you’re gonna get is what makes life _life_. For all his bitching, Kei has gotten some damn good chocolates.

**Author's Note:**

> No one will ever know why Daichi and Suga were at that public bath.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I really want to write a longer fic about Tsukki's post-canon experience and falling in love with Kuroo and stuff with the headcanons mentioned in this fic. So basically, the story leading up to near-death-by-daisuga-at-a-public-bath in detail and then some. I think about this post-canon verse a lot and think it would be fun to write down. I just need to figure out how to actually write a long fic lol. (And maybe also find a beta reader because lord knows I'm gonna need that.) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed! Comments/kudos are much appreciated!


End file.
